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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wannarelax's LiveJournal:

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    Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
    1:51 am
    BxOfSh4rpObjcts (12:50:01 AM): No. I want to make you smile. And I want to give you hugs and kisses. But I can't because you're too far away.
    StrungoutOPD (12:50:31 AM): I want to hold you
    StrungoutOPD (12:50:41 AM): and fall asleep with you
    BxOfSh4rpObjcts (12:51:01 AM): :-(
    BxOfSh4rpObjcts (12:51:28 AM): Just tell me when and I will make it happen.


    I can't even beleive it. How did this happen to a guy like me? :)

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Jets To Brazil- Wishlist
    Thursday, May 5th, 2005
    12:30 am
    A new theory to take the place of time cube???
     56 Unless you can explain the pure principle behind GRAVITY as waves - you cannot understand the pure principle of LOVE. Did you ever wonder why they call it FALLING in love? IMPLOSION / BLISS / FIRE IN THE HEART - makes GRAVITY INSIDE YOURSELF. Free yourself from the Earth's gravity and matter, and even planet influences etc., (astrology). Instead of subject to the fate of all (a bit FATAL) you make your own fate. This is why the entering the V as in Vortex and (Roman V) FIVE-ness - makes VOLO - which is both to FLY and to have WILL. (Voluntary).
    Now you begin to see why on Earth - would we need to explain all this to kids!!! The principle that allows gravity to get made among (electrical ) waves - is absolutely the same as the principle (or RULE) that allows you to make BLISS AND ECSTACY AND ENLIGHTENMENT inside your heart and your head. And the shape of the picture of waves that makes this work - is something you can see and learn in a minute! Not only is all this the key to bliss - enlightenment - it is also the key to making ATTENTION happen inside your head. In this book - we are going to sometimes call these electrical waves which collapse and compress into a perfect center - waves of CHARGE. The shape of these waves of radiating (or spreading out) CHARGE is what used to be called SPIRIT or CHI or LIFE FORCE.
    For example what Christians call the AURA around saints is because the saints learned to attract and then radiate in order - more of these waves of electrical CHARGE. Some of you have heard of KIRLIAN photosthese are a way of taking pictures of your aura (your HALO). Your HALO is the shape of your waves of this charge - and you need to take RESPONSIBILITY ( take CHARGE) of this - so that you don't make messes in your aura and planet. This whole subject of taking CHARGE of your emotion so your aura creates pretty pictures and leaves trails of glory - is called COHERENT EMOTION. People with confused emotion leave electrical pollution in the room when they leave. People with COHERENT emotion leave a sweet kind of smell in the room - that has NOTHING to do with their deodorant. (continued page 57)

    I've never heard such ranting and lunacy in my life, I must follow this beleif system.

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: The Wrens- The meadowlands
    Friday, March 11th, 2005
    12:28 am
    It's been forgotten for so long, I don't know where it came from. I could hear the words clearly come back into my mind once again "I just want milk instead of pizza right now, I'm sorry" This message that nobody but us could understand, a secret synonym we'd made up for some unknown reason that I can't even recall now. That was the beginning of my grown up life.
    Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
    2:07 pm
    Does she ever think about what I'm doing while sitting next to the window watching clouds. Does she contemplate the future as just a series of defeats through which understanding and perspectve are gained? Does she see me or know me, will anyone? What makes a person right, good or fun? will I realize it when it comes? It seems that sunrise is for everybody else's sky.
    Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
    3:09 am
    What does everything mean, and does the meaning really matter? What's the difference between good and evil if you are happy in the end? what is happiness, I've forgotten.
    Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
    10:42 am
          
    organization is love
    brought to you by the isLove Generator
    Friday, December 3rd, 2004
    9:25 am
    I felt for sure last night
    That once we said goodbye
    No one else will know these lonely dreams
    No one else will know that part of me
    I'm still driving away
    And I'm sorry every day
    I won't always love these selfish things
    I won't always live...
    Not stopping...

    It was my turn to decide
    I knew this was our time
    No one else will have me like you do
    No one else will have me, only you

    You'll sit alone forever
    If you wait for the right time
    What are you hoping for?
    I'm here I'm now I'm ready
    Holding on tight
    Don't give away the end
    The one thing that stays mine

    Amazing still it seems
    I'll be 23
    I won't always love what I'll never have
    I won't always live in my regrets

    You'll sit alone forever
    If you wait for the right time
    What are you hoping for?
    I'm here I'm now I'm ready
    Holding on tight
    Don't give away the end
    The one thing that stays mine

    You'll sit alone forever
    If you wait for the right time
    What are you hoping for?
    I'm here I'm now I'm ready
    Holding on tight
    Don't give away the end
    The one thing that stays mine...

    It's due time for some big changes in my life.
    Sunday, November 21st, 2004
    1:14 am
    I'm just a guy with nothing to lose. Freedom is losing all hope
    Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
    3:46 pm
    and so it begins
     Day one of my sin free spree starts now, wish me luck!
    Monday, October 11th, 2004
    7:08 am
    Nobody can take my breath away, make my heart flutter or make me forget about the world again. Those times are over, faith is lost. I was once able to see the shore, a destination, but now water surrounds me. Forget about love, desire, excitement, intrigue. It's not what makes the world go 'round, it's not happiness, it's not contentment, it's a lie. I wasn't that bad of an option, was I?
    Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
    12:14 pm
    Yesterday I noticed the vision in my right eye was fuzzy in areas and I couldn't read with it unless I moved the page around. So this morning I went in to the eye doctor and she said I have a pressure build up which is offsetting the optic nerve. If it gets any worse I need eye surgery, one of my biggest fears. God damn it, could shit pile up a little more for me?
    Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
    11:38 am
    School has been quite a change since years past. I'm making friends with people in my hall as well as the city kids, it's pretty fun so far. I got my hopes up too high for something that didn't turn out like I thought it could. Things have felt like a rollercoaster going downhill for the past year, but I'm not getting off yet. There's got to be a hill ahead.
    Monday, September 13th, 2004
    11:21 am
    School is in full force once again and I've aquired "the genius" as a nickname from the girls in the hall. Strange. There's a very cute one a few doors down that has actually been talking to me and seems like a semi intelligent, non bitchy person, hmmm. I had a going away party on friday night for nicky p before he leaves for Ireland, it was great to see him again. We were joined by Chet, Kari, Liz, Pat, Kris, Hans, and Jamie. Matt B ended up bringing us some pizzas and wishing he wasn't at work, it sucked! I haven't had a chance to do a lot with him since school started, besides sand down his bedroom walls. Life is good for the most part, been having a bunch of crazily real lucid dreams with my friends in them lately, romance meter = -10, smartness meter = 7.
    Sunday, August 29th, 2004
    2:42 pm
    I'm on the bandwagon
     Leave a comment with a memory of me.
    It can be anything you want.
    Then post this in your journal,
    and see what people remember of you
    Monday, August 2nd, 2004
    2:51 pm
    Things have been pretty exciting lately. Still working on getting out of my shell, meeting new people, socializing and not being so shy/ quiet all the time. Thanks to all of you that have become friends over the summer.
    Friday, July 23rd, 2004
    12:23 am
    peace
     I finally realized it. Laying here in my boxers, stretched out across my bed looking at the stars, listening to yellow all alone. I am perfect, I am everything I was meant to be, I am me.
    Monday, July 12th, 2004
    8:21 am
    Me
     I like the following things about myself:
    - nice
    - decent sense of humor
    - passionate
    - adequately smart
    - I go for what I want, and don't settle for less
    - self sufficient
    - can go between cool crowds and nerdy ones

    I don't like the following things:
    - shyness/ self consciousness
    - putting myself down
    - scared of the future
    - not enough time for friends
    - failure with women

    I'm gonna order my school books in the next few days and start working on math and science again before school starts to keep my brain working. I'm going to avoid fast food as much as possible and cook for myself. I'm going to finish reading the dozens of books I have. I'm going to work out every day. Anything in the world is achievable, you just have to keep it in your sight and and work until you've got it.
    Thursday, July 8th, 2004
    11:18 am
    starting
     Deep breath... is my hair fixed? are these clothes alright? does it matter, will people look at that? Remember to be relaxed, stay calm, don't appear uptight. Charm them, show that you are witty but not annoying, smart but not a nerd, get involved, be noticed, they'll all love you. Breathe.
    Sunday, June 27th, 2004
    10:47 pm
    The sky's the limit
     "If one must raise a single finger to conquer the world, it is already beyond his reach." -Taoist saying

    I haven't raised my finger, I haven't played their games, and I've remained myself through it all. Things are coming together now, and on my own terms. Life is in my grasp.
    Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
    11:03 pm
    God damn the world and god damn myself for not being able to keep it in anymore. The nice guy will always come through, we can count on him, he'll pick me up whenever I'm bored or hungry because he has all the time in the world, and if not I'll just hurt myself to show him. I hate to see people suffering, I want nothing more in the world than to help but I can't. I won't ask anything of you, take it all from me, my love, my compassion, my trust, my advice, my time and money. It is free. Be happy with your friends, your lovers and your families, I hope they treat you like the wonderful charming intelligent people that you all are.
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